balance

I've been thinking about balance quite a bit lately.  Balance in all aspects, but mostly just day to day balance.  I feel I'm still transitioning with the whole school/kinder she-bang and to be honest pining slightly at the loss of our days of no routine.  Days when I was in charge and planned their worlds.  I miss those days, now it just seems there is always somewhere to be, somewhere to go.

My stay-at-home mother role is shifting now as my lovely little people in my life head out and have others help them with their learning, discovering and exploring of this wide and wonderful world.   It's hard to adjust to that increase in time they spend out of the home, and then still fit in all that we want to when they are.

Balance is an evolving concept.

Once upon a time, I used to harvest so many figs from my tree.  Now the birds and bats get too many.  So last night I made a contraption* to balance it out more evenly.   If only it was so easy to make a contraption to balance out life.

How do you transition when life shifts focus?



*a cut off bottle top stuck to the end of broom or mop (use tape if it's loose) - use the rim of the bottle edge to cut though the stem of the fig and then the fig drops in the container.  In case you're wondering...yes I do have a ladder, but it's not big enough to get all the figs.  And this is quite fun xx

a lesson well learnt

This parenting gig is full on at times.  Oh who I am kidding.  It's full of most of the time if not all the time.  A little while ago I was presented with a situation that I had not yet had to deal with as a parent (of a school child) in particular.

On collecting my son from school, I got the look from his teacher that alerted me that I was not to escape without discussion.  Yes.  I was approached by said teacher and the details explained before me were to the effect that my son who was standing oh so innocently beside me, had in fact decided not to complete his comprehension work that day "just because".  As a way of protesting further he had written clearly in block letters on the top of this page  "NO NOT TODAY"

We had homework.

I had to take that work home with me, and he had to complete it.  hmmmm......

I thought on the short walk home - calm and collected brenda, calm and collected. 

As my kids sat side by side at the kitchen bench eating an after school snack I got out uncompleted work and directed my son's attention to it.  We completed it with little fan-fare and minimal agitation from me.  done.  but not really.  A lesson had to be learnt from this.

Later on I crept into the bedroom that is my sons domain and spoke to him about what had happened and what he thought he should do.

"Oh mum, I know I should do my work in class, I have to say sorry to Ms Dunn"

"Yes you do"

"But I don't want to say it, I think I could write it."

"Ok, that's fine"

So he popped up to his desk and wrote the sweetest apology and as a tear trickled down my cheek I realised that making the mistake isn't so bad if there is a lesson well learnt at the end.  And said apology note snapped on the iPhone as reminder before we took to school the following day.

What lesson has your child had to learn recently?  Did it make you proud?

to the mother with no name...

Source: wallflowerfriends.com via Emily on Pinterest

The other day I took my daughter swimming.  A weekly occurrence.

I sit near the pool and watch her.

There are other children in the group and I know their names but not the names of their mothers.

We say hello each week and exchange simple chit chat.

But this week was different.  I sat near Luke's mum and said "how are you?"

...."oh it's just so hard....this mother hood thing...I feel like I'm forever chasing my tail...I'm getting sick...there are never enough hours in the day...I feel guilty...need time for me...I'm exhausted...I can't keep up.  Luke is my youngest and I feel he's dragged from pillar to post with the demands of my other two children.... I want to just stop and play with him, but there is always something else to do...I feel so guilty....guilty.  All. The. Time."

All I did was sit and listen.  She needed to vent and I was that anonymous face that she could say it too...

So to the mother whose name I do not know...this is for you.

When you thought I wasn't looking

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favourite cake for me and I learned that little things can be special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give you time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that I sometimes things hurt, but it's alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking'.


--

It was a few months ago that a friend showed me this verse....at a time when I really needed it.

Now I'm passing it on...do you have someone who needs it too??

xx

why does it take so long?

Source: flickr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

I often wonder, at small little insignificant instances and think...

Is it just me?  Or do other people do that?

Take for instances, small little differences to my life, that if I actually took a very little time and dedicated it to the task, would make my life so much easier.

For example - Pegs.  Yes, the very clever item used to hang washing on the line.  Because all mothers can vouch that a) they have oodles of washing and b) need pegs. But you see my peg supply has slowly dwindled away due to them constantly breaking and I'm sure the kids think they make fabulous toys and run off with a whole handfuls never to be seen again.  So for the past six months each time I hang out the washing, it has been my new strategic game to hang out the washing using minimal pegs possible.  Six months I've been hanging 3 socks with one peg, and lining up all the tea-towels so the ends touch.  A little triumph when all knickers, socks and clothes are hung out without a spare peg required.  Sad I know.

The other day, it cost $1.87 for a packet of 200 pegs.  Why did it take me so long?  so simple?

The other example....is a little more embarrassing actually.  You see I noticed in the top draw of the kids bathroom a little bottle of sample hand-cream and tipped over and the cream was oozing out the lid.  I wont confess to how long it had been that way...just say long enough!  I noticed it each time I opened the draw and thought "oh, i'll get around to that...just not right now" and slid the draw shut.  It wasn't until the Parent-in-law were due to arrive that I quickly grabbed some loo paper, wiped up the mess and disposed of the bottle.

Why did it take me so long?  So simple...but why??

Please tell me I'm not the only one?  Do you have things just waiting for your attention that really if you did attend to it, could make your life easier?

If so...go do it!  And share, so I don't feel so bad!

xx

five minute increments...

I've learnt that as a stay at home mother, time is of the essence.  Actually time would be essentially important to all mothers full stop.  Agree?  yes I thought you would.

You see, when little people come along, it's a learning curve on how to get things down that used to just, well, get done but without that little shadow following you around, calling out for help or screaming because their sibling has just careered through their magnificent lego tower.

hmmm...

Enter the Five Minute Increment (FMI) rule and I'm in a much happier place.  I no longer aspire to complete a task from go to woe.  If I start, say folding the washing, I can leave it at the drop of a hat, and return when the chance arises.  Same with tidying.  Oh you wont find me spending uninterrupted time cleaning.  It's done in spurts throughout the day.  remember FMI....

If I'm walking up the hallway to one of the kids room, I'll do a quick look to see if anything needs to be returned and take it with me, and same on the way back (gee sounds like my house is huge - it's not!) but you see.  Time - Essense - no point wasting it.

I'm like this with other areas like blogging, and crafting....  if I can sneak in either I will.  I've always got a crafty project on the go at arms length, and thank goodness for WIFI which enables me to  read through some fav blogs here and there during the day, but perhaps comment latter on.....

When the kids are showering, I'll clean the bathroom whilst I'm watching them.  I'll plan out dinner in stages throughout the day so it's not all prepared at once in the evening.   When they are outside playing, I can push swings, comment on trampoline skills, hang out washing and feed the cat -  all happy.

In my house, I try to show the kids that chores (read boring) need to be done.  So they need to know that  ironing gets done, we pack up and take care of our belongings.  I also find that by implementing the FMI rule, tasks aren't overwhelming and when one of my babes looks at me with those "melting eyes" holding a much loved (falling apart) copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar*, I take that as an opportunity to sit down and nourish my family.

How do you juggle it all?  Do you do things in short bursts or do you like to finish a task once you start.
Do you have any tips to share about managing your time?  Please do if you will!

*which is the fav at the moment - the book is literally falling apart and like many of you, i dont even need the book now - it's etched in my memory - probably for like ever! 


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turning off.....

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Around this time last year, I made some changes, and it mainly revolved around the black box

The Television.

I decided, quite spontaneously that I just could not stand it any longer, and that it was controlling our life more than I ever imagined.  Of course it all happened unintentional, once the two little people in my life work out how to use the remote control and change channels.  And then ABC had to go and make a whole separate channel for my little people that was available practically all day.

Dont get me wrong - my children weren't watching copious amounts of TV - and this was the issue.  They would turn it on and Playschool, or Postman Pat, Giggle 'n' Hoot or Elmo would blast at my face, and then in about 5 minutes they would be running around doing something else, leaving me to have my morning cuppa singing I'm a little teapot!!

So I switched off - no more day time TV.

ahhh, the bliss.  I thought it would be hard.  I mean I started just before last winter, but it was surprisingly easy as each time I had a request for the television, I would counter it with;

"yeah, but do you want to do this (play outside, get the train set out, ring Nonno, make cupcakes, or go for a walk) instead?"

And usually the answer was in favour of my suggestion.  Given my children were hopeless TV watchers in the first place, I didn't feel this put me out in any way either.  It's not like the TV was allowing me to get things (dinner, washing, chores, phone calls etc) done anyway - So for me it wasn't a burden.  Hubby and I also agreed to keep the TV off until they were in bed so no more early news (too much distress!) and NO TV whilst having dinner.  Again, bliss!

Now we are a year in and this morning I read this article entitled Turn off the screen and tune into fun and I felt a great sense of relief that I have already made this decision and that it is the best situation for my children.  They do watch TV occasionally - mainly from a little collection of DVD's that we have - but on average, they might get through one DVD a week.   I was amazed reading the article that television and "educational" dvd's are considered ineffective and can actually delay learning, especially language learning.   The findings suggest that the more TV a child under three is exposed to the higher chances of developing attention problems by age seven. I'm not sure if I entirely believe this.  I had no basis for making my decision last year, but I'm glad I did.

My children have an array of activities at home to keep them occupied, plus our extra activities that take them out of the home. We listen to music most of the time during the day and I can see improvements in their concentration, their relationship with one another and their ability to make up games and really use their imagination when it come to play.

Have you made any changes at your house?  How are you going and was it easier or harder than you thought?

gettin' a little fancy....

I discovered that Kym from a day in the life of us has a little linky each week, encouraging us mumma's out of our trackies and into something a little more fancy.  Her link is aptly titled "fancy pants"...

Last year I started doing some fashion posts (wardrobe wednesday) for that exact same reason, but linking up with another fashion loving mumma wanting to encourage others' to banish the homely clothes is such a great idea!!

So...here I am.  Sporting a waisted denim skirt with just a plain black singlet.   I think skirts that sit on my natural waist suit me better than on my hips as they hide all the bits that worry me.  I paired this outfit with just simple accessories and strappy sandles.   It feels summer-y and comfy and that's enough for me!

Have you fancy-ed up a bit this week - if so snap away and link up with Kym!

Wearing;
Skirt & belt  - sportgirl
Singlet - dotti
Sandles - miss shop
bangle - diva

Wardrobe wednesday...

When I started out doing these fashion posts, it was, to motivate me to get out of the trackies, and wear something different.  As a stay at home mumma, sometimes comfort wins over nice.  Sometimes, trackies are easy and really - it doesn't matter if the kids spill their milo all over you, or smear banana onto you or even give you a snotty hug!

The other reason I thought this might be fun, and I'm definitely not a fashion guru - I don't follow the trends and I'm beginning to learn to dress for my body, bumps and all.  Lets face it, some of those bumps were not there before children, so it takes some getting used to!

That aside, I also love practical and affordable.  I mean, who needs to be looking after the kids dressed in Gucci and Jimmy Choo!  Did I not mention milo, banana, and snot!

This little outfit - a bargin.  I realised as I was wearing it, that the added total of this outfit is very realistic (under $100)  for all of it!

Top - On sale at a local boutique -$19
Jeans - Kmart - $29
Shoes - Dorothy Perkins - $15
Necklace - $21
Ring - Buttons by Lou Lou - $10
Belt - Dotti $ 4.95